Why it Makes Perfect Sense that Clay Aiken Is the Sexiest Male Singer
8/19/04
by Diane Sprague
For those of you who were surprised at Clay Aiken's being selected the sexiest singer for the InStyle magazine poll, I would like to offer this crash course in female sexuality. The media has some pretty harebrained ideas about what woman want, so it is time for a Masters & Johnson's type earth shattering presentation about the reality of what is actually going on in our heads because I think it is utterly fascinating.
First of all, women want their imaginations to be captured. A month ago, I had a long plane trip ahead of me so I stopped at a bookstore and picked up the book, The Scarlet Pimpernel . It was about an intelligent woman who surprised everyone by marrying a man who we considered to be rather empty-headed and clumsy. Over time she forgets what it was that made him initially attractive to her and she starts to lose her love for him. She then discovers that he is the notorious Scarlet Pimpernel, a mysterious figure who helps the aristocratic people escape the guillotine during the Reign of Terror. Of course, she falls madly back in love with him again. It was rather corny at times, but I had to smile at the image of an awkward, seemingly unattractive male hiding a wonderful mysterious hero under the façade. This literary figure comes back to us in other forms. One that readily comes to mind is Clark Kent hiding the superman underneath his nerdy exterior. There is something that wholly captures our imaginations about such a character. And, yes, this is why we like Clay. I love when he wears his glasses, lets his ears stick out, and allows his hair to get a bit messed up. It's so appealing because we can see what is behind it all. We can hear it when he sings.
Secondly, we like men with character, substance, and integrity. No, we do not like the bad boys who treat us poorly. If we go through a stage when we do, it is only because we are hoping for some truth to the myth that under the bad boy exterior is something much better, something good. Most of us wise up pretty quickly. It become very apparent, very quickly that under the bad boy exterior is a pouty , wimpy bully who has about as much appeal as wet gym socks. Plus there are too many of those bozos floating around and they become tedious and dull very quickly. What is truly appealing is the rare man who makes good choices, stands up for what he believes in, and shows the strength of character to rise above petty souls who would like to pull him down. We have seen all that in Clay. He's not perfect. Humans don't get that far, but those who start heading in the right direction definitely get our attention.
Third, there is something he does when he sings that drives us crazy. I am not going to analyze this. Just watch a few downloads of him singing I Survived You . You will not figure it out what it is exactly, but I guarantee you will be seeing something primal that drives women wild. Enough said.
Fourth, he likes kids. Most woman like kids too, unless it had been a long day and they are fighting about who touched whom and a Homer Simpson chokehold begins to seem like an truly effective form of discipline. But mostly we do, and men who like them too make far more sense to us then those who don't. Gentleness in a strong male is vastly appealing.
Fifth, he teases us with his sexuality. He hides it and therefore it becomes incredibly apparent. He layers his clothes and only lets us catch little glimpses of something. We catch it in his eyes, his voice, and his hands. We catch it in our imaginations where everything wonderful is hidden. His morality lets us trust him. It lets us know it's real.
Lastly, even if that voice came from someone who looks like Tom Arnold, we would have fallen in love and redefined male beauty to go with that wonderful sound. Woman like singers. Woman like great singers. We are smart in that way. Singers can help us find places in our imaginations that we never knew existed.
So, as you can see, it really should be no surprise that Clay won the poll. What is truly surprising is that many people are shocked. They are buried in their misconceptions about what woman want. They need to pay attention. We are speaking very clearly when we tell the world how much we love Clay. Let's hope the world learns to listen.
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