Cheating on Clay

This past year, my life has been inundated with Clay's music. He is the only singer that I listen to and I listen to his music constantly. On my birthday, I was given a gift of two CDs by Josh Grobin with the explanation that since I liked Clay so much, he was sure I would like to listen to another male singer. My reaction was to blurt out, "But I can't cheat on Clay!" My brain is a bit slow, so I have a tendency to realize ten seconds after I say something that it was a stupid thing to say. There's not much that can be done at that point, but it did get me to thinking.

How did I get to the point where to listen to and enjoy the music of another male singer would constitute the act of cheating in my mind? Last time I checked I wasn't crazy and I find that I am not alone. This issue has appeared in numerous discussion posts on the Internet. Many women have developed an exclusive singer/listener relationship with Clay. It appears that we have the tendency to bond to special male singers in such an intimate manner that we reach the point that to step outside of the envelope of their music seems unfaithful.

The beginning of the American Idol season three episodes represented a type of test for many of us. How can we stay faithful to Clay and continue to watch the show that has the potential to bring us, gulp, another Clay? We all know it is extremely unlikely that this could happen, but why else watch the show? Last year's experience was wonderful, but to hope for another experience that duplicates what happened last year does not seem right. First of all, it is very unlikely. Secondly, a repeat would seem to cheapen it all. It would make us seem like we are too easily manipulated into following whatever new person catches our eyes. That's not good. At the same time, the show is so much fun that it is still tempting to watch it.

I have read discussions where people were struggling with the question about how to deal with this season. Some people have decided not to watch the show at all. Some will watch it, but they are determined not to care. Some seemed willing and excited to go through it all over again, with the stipulation that the contestant they will route for will be a female. I had not decided what I was going to do, so I decided to be extremely methodical in coming to a decision. I dug out my philosophy books, consulted the I Ching, and went into deep mediation. I am proud to say that after after hours of contemplation I have come to this very profound conclusion: "Okay, what the hell."

The first of the show, the bad singer part, was not as funny as I remember it being last year. It was just nasty and tedious. I was looking for the good singers, the female good singers. Nobody has caught my attention yet. I don't know. We'll see.

My reaction to the male singers has been interesting. The supposedly handsome male (I refuse to even attempt to remember names until the top twelve. My mind is cluttered enough as it is.) who sang to Paula made me stick my finger down my throat so I could go through gagging motions thorough out his song. Ugh, nothing is more repulsive than a man who thinks he is gorgeous and idiot judges that go along with it. Of course, when Simon compared a singer's voice to Clay's, I soundly insulted all the judges for their low intelligence, lack of hearing, mediocre taste, poor moral standards, likely wretched body odors, and general stupidity. That will teach them. Now that Simon has taken it upon himself to compare someone to Clay on every show, I just think it is funny. They cannot get him out of their systems either. When I do hear a male who does sing relatively well, I have to be careful what I say. Even if I say he is just halfway decent, I get the evil eye from my ten year old daughter who is even more strict about what it means to cheat on Clay than I am. The best I can do is say that he did not stink too badly.

It's going to be an interesting season. I am not sure when I am going to relax my terms of fidelity. Obsessions do end. Someday, I am sure I will open the doors to other music, but this has been such a fun year where I have been so surrounded by Clay's music that I am not ready for this silliness to come to an end. I want what happened to be special and I want it to last. I do not want the experience to be duplicated or cheapened. I am only ready to cheat a little, just by peeking in, with my armor in place to prevent my heart from being stolen by someone else. Some things are worth protecting.