Clay Aiken in Canandaigua

7/21/07

by Diane Sprague

Everything is different. Time has gone by and changed things, sometimes slowly but steadily, sometimes abruptly, sometimes in unnoticeable ways. Sometimes things changed so drastically that the past becomes almost a stranger. With a certain amount of reluctance, sadness, and relief, I found that my interest in Clay was slowly waning away. Other music began to interest me and the delight of listening to Clay, though still present, was not as powerful. More and more I set my wonderful collection of his songs aside for something new, something different. I would still return, and look for news about Clay, but found myself watching from a greater distance, with less interest and emotion. In many ways, it has been hard to let go. It's a sad part of life, watching love fade, feeling the excitement slip away, and finding nothing really lasts. Even so, there is some comfort in knowing that time has forced us to move on to something else, whatever that something else might be.

When I found that Clay would be coming close to where I live on his tour, I bought tickets. I still wanted to see Clay in concert, but I was nervous. I cringed at the thought of hearing TV song medleys and further covers of other people's song. I have always been puzzled by the direction that Clay's career has followed. Of course, like many fans, I would have loved to give the greatly esteemed Clive Davis a good thump on his head and an earful of my far superior ideas of what wonderful music they could create with Clay's voice, but well, he is getting paid millions and I am being paid diddly-squat and people rather listen to people that get paid the big stuff. Still, it's a satisfying fantasy to think about being able to share my ideas with people who don't seem to have a clue. The other thing that I feared was the possibility of what I would feel during the concert. I was scared of feeling nothing with so many memories of experiencing so much when I would listen to Clay in the past.

I really didn't know how I would react to the concert. When it started I could not even find Clay. I heard the crowd cheering but could not find him anywhere on the stage. I finally figured out that since everyone else was looking up, I should try that tactic also. It worked. There he was up high walking along the catwalk or whatever that is called. He was smiling, and I really don't know why, but it was magic. The feelings were not totally gone. It was fun again. He slowly worked his way through the crowd and made his way to the stage. His voice was the same voice I remembered. There is something special about hearing him live and letting his voice fill everything inside until all my worries were driven away. The Rochester Philharmonic provided an excellent background, and the shell we were under provided a cozy protection for the incessant rainfall that surrounded us the entire evening.

I noticed the crowd, though mainly female, consisted of people of all ages. I like to notice that because the critics never do. There were the vocal fanatic fans, but also a large group of people that were more subdued, but appeared to be enjoying themselves. I even saw people singing along and tapping the feet to the boring TV medley, that I decided wasn't so boring, and maybe a little bit of fun. Clay's more serious songs were performed brilliantly. I do agree with Clay's choice to use local orchestras. They create the perfect background for his voice.

The silly Classics Medley was a hoot. This gave us a brief glimpse of the Clay we did not expect to see. I like how Clay enjoys making fun of his image and sneaking in performances that stretch that image to include other possibilities...tacky, sexy, edgy, and cool. Why not? Nobody should be put in a box, especially someone with as much talent and potential as Clay.

At the end of the concert, I wanted to hold on to it. I did not want it to end. I loved being immersed in his beautiful voice. I realized I was going to be leaving something I was not totally willing to let go of yet. There is still reasons to pay attention to Clay. In many ways, I have stepped away, but it reminded me that there is something beautiful and wonderful there that I am not ready to leave behind. I stepped out into the rain wondering about Clay's future. Other things have caught my attention, but I am going to still leave a small corner for Clay. It's still a special corner full of beauty and joy.